100 Years Ago . . .

Is life really that different now than it was just 100 years ago? In a word, Yes. When your grandparents were born:

  • Only 14 percent of the homes in the U.S. had a bathtub.
  • Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.
  • There were only 8,000 cars in the U.S., and only 144 miles of paved roads.
  • The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
  • More than 95 percent of all births in the U.S. took place at home.
  • Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo.
  • The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!
  • Almost one in five households in the U.S. had at least one full-time servant or domestic help.
  • There were about 230 reported murders in the entire U.S.

With the level of rapid changes in our physical world, we are constantly playing catch-up mentally, emotionally, and spiritually in order to develop the language, ethics, and vision within which to place these changes—and ourselves—in a constantly shifting context.

The fact is that just as our outer world is growing quickly, our inner world is seeking to do the same. That, ultimately, is the work of psychotherapy.

Something to Consider...

"Each time one person resolves one issue, the whole of humanity moves forward."

H.Ronald Hulnick, Ph.D., MFT
President, University of
Santa Monica

Beyond Independence
Dr. Hulnick's quote reminds me that independence is a resting place along the path to greater interdependence.

Independence is certainly a huge step toward freedom from codependence, when our thoughts, feelings, choices, and sense of self-worth seem to be inextricably linked to how others do or don't respond to us.

However, independence has become misinterpreted as the endgame. Maturity has become misconstrued as ruthless self-determination, vigorous self-reliance, and a 'like-it-or-leave-it' attitude. We see this expression from the level of the individual all the way to the national and international.

A lasting, sustainable, wisdom-based maturity recognizes that true independence includes the ability to ask for support as we need it—and to offer support as we are able. As we take care of ourselves, we are then in the most empowered place possible to help take care of others.